Hello, minions. Igor is sure all you peons have missed his petite (yet commanding) presence, and the exclusive view into the life of a turtle like himself. Some of you have expressed curiosity as to why Igor hasn't posted in quite some time and, to be painfully frank, it is because he has simply been too important to update this blog, although Igor is sure you all understand.

The life of a jetsetting, world-renowned turtle such as Igor is not an easy one, nor one with much free time, and that is not even factoring in the time Igor must put into directing his minions (after all, they obviously can't be trusted to do anything themselves, a fact Igor has been witness to a number of times).

So what, exactly, has Igor been busy doing? Well, not that Igor must respond to impertinent questions, but, since he is in a charitable mood, he shall condescend to respond. As of late, Igor has been much like George Clooney in Up in the Air, only much better looking, of course. Igor, having grown weary of London's gray drabness, has been seeking greener -- and thus, much better, of course -- pastures. Igor has been on tour, in response to a number of requests from his international fans and the desire to see the sun. The cities Igor visited include:

• Amsterdam,

where Igor walked the canals,

saw the red light district, and encountered Dutch apple pie, or baked apple, with some incidental chunks of pie in between.

Igor also found his next home, which was formerly called the Van Loon mansion (now a museum), but will henceforth be known as Igor's Second Esate.

• Paris,

where Igor came the closest he's ever come to finding a city worthy of his love.

• and Cardiff,

which was good, but not great, and could probably be summed up by the fouling picture. I mean following picture.

although these pictures could be said to describe Cardiff, too.

And currently, Igor is in Seoul, a place he thought he was forever rid of, but alas, it seems to call for him again and again. And strangely, despite the ten-hour flight (that was only nominally improved by the free-flowing offerings of libations), Igor may or may not be somewhat, a tiny bit glad to be back among what may be his most ardent admirers (although it's hard to know for sure as Igor is so very, very popular).

In any case, Igor will soon be up in the air once again, to touch down briefly in London before heading off to what better be sunny Istanbul.

After all, when a turtle works as hard as Igor and is as important as Igor, he deserves a break.